In the land of Make Believe – Kushagra Shrivastava’s Blog

I get this call from a girl called Jyoti representing Citibank. She wanted to solicit some feedback on the Citi Mobile App for Blackberry which is now my goto place for everything to do with bank. It was an interesting conversation. A somewhat biased transcript below:

Jyoti: Hello Sir, I am calling from Citibank. Can I talk to you for 2 mins.
Me: Not now, later

I HANG, Jyoti CALLS AGAIN

Jyoti: Sir, please don’t disconnect. I really need to talk to you. It is my duty to inform you about what is happening with Citibank
Me (curiously): Hmmm, ya go ahead.

Jyoti: Sir, it has came to my notice that you’ve been using the Citibank Mobile App.
Me: Yes, is my account hacked or or WHAT? That is why it is urgent right?

Jyoti: No sir, I’ve not hacked your account. I don’t know how to hack.
Me: I am not blaming you, is my account hacked?

Jyoti: No sir, your account is hacked but please store your password properly, it is important that you keep it safe with you and do not share it with your girlfriend and wife.
Me: I understand, and just to set the record straight I just have a wife. I wish I had a girlfriend as well.

Jyoti: Sir, please don’t flirt with me.
Me: What the heck! No, it is not about you. Anyways, what is that you want. Break the news!

Jyoti: Sir, I don’t want to break your heart but I’ve a boyfriend
Me (amused, where the hell this came from): I am sorry! So, what were you saying about my account.

Jyoti: Sir, your account is alirght it is not hacked. Do not worry.
Me: Ya, you told me, and I just verified and changed my password.

Jyoti: That is very quick. You are smart and fast.
Me: You bet!

Jyoti: Sir, I told you not to flirt. It can be a legal case against you.
Me: WTF, you know what, thanks. I am hanging up.

Jyoti: Sir, please do not commit suicide.
Me: Is it some sortta prank or what. Why are you fuckin with me.

Jyoti: Sir, I’l have to report the use of abusive language to my senior.
Me: Yes, please fucking do that and tell him/her to suck my #@$#.

I HANG, JYOTI CALLS AGAIN

Jyoti: Why did you disconnect, don’t you like talking to me?
Me: Fuck off!

I HANG, JYOTI CALLS AGAIN

Me: I told ya to fuck off.

Now, I am pretty sure that the call is not from CitiBank, somebody was playing with me. After a few hours, when I am convinced that I call is not from CitiBank, I called that number again — turns out is a number of a public phone in Mumbai. Bandra to be more specific.

I am bugged by the fact that who fooled around with me — So I am writing this blog post, whoever this fake Jyoti is please call me back coz I’ve been going nuts for the past 2 days figuring out who you are. I swear I was not flirting

Life is Ironic sometimes

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