Jyoti: Hello Sir, I am calling from Citibank. Can I talk to you for 2 mins.
Me: Not now, later

I HANG, Jyoti CALLS AGAIN

Jyoti: Sir, please don’t disconnect. I really need to talk to you. It is my duty to inform you about what is happening with Citibank
Me (curiously): Hmmm, ya go ahead.

Jyoti: Sir, it has came to my notice that you’ve been using the Citibank Mobile App.
Me: Yes, is my account hacked or or WHAT? That is why it is urgent right?

Jyoti: No sir, I’ve not hacked your account. I don’t know how to hack.
Me: I am not blaming you, is my account hacked?

Jyoti: No sir, your account is hacked but please store your password properly, it is important that you keep it safe with you and do not share it with your girlfriend and wife.
Me: I understand, and just to set the record straight I just have a wife. I wish I had a girlfriend as well.

Jyoti: Sir, please don’t flirt with me.
Me: What the heck! No, it is not about you. Anyways, what is that you want. Break the news!

Jyoti: Sir, I don’t want to break your heart but I’ve a boyfriend
Me (amused, where the hell this came from): I am sorry! So, what were you saying about my account.

Jyoti: Sir, your account is alirght it is not hacked. Do not worry.
Me: Ya, you told me, and I just verified and changed my password.

Jyoti: That is very quick. You are smart and fast.
Me: You bet!

Jyoti: Sir, I told you not to flirt. It can be a legal case against you.
Me: WTF, you know what, thanks. I am hanging up.

Jyoti: Sir, please do not commit suicide.
Me: Is it some sortta prank or what. Why are you fuckin with me.

Jyoti: Sir, I’l have to report the use of abusive language to my senior.
Me: Yes, please fucking do that and tell him/her to suck my #@$#.

I HANG, JYOTI CALLS AGAIN

Jyoti: Why did you disconnect, don’t you like talking to me?
Me: Fuck off!

I HANG, JYOTI CALLS AGAIN

Me: I told ya to fuck off.

Now, I am pretty sure that the call is not from CitiBank, somebody was playing with me. After a few hours, when I am convinced that I call is not from CitiBank, I called that number again — turns out is a number of a public phone in Mumbai. Bandra to be more specific.

I am bugged by the fact that who fooled around with me — So I am writing this blog post, whoever this fake Jyoti is please call me back coz I’ve been going nuts for the past 2 days figuring out who you are. I swear I was not flirting

Life is Ironic sometimes

I couldn’t travel partly because I was ‘busy’ interviewing for a role change internally at Google and later relocating from Hyderabad to Bangalore. These first three months have really been crazy in terms of work. First, you interview, later you plan out a transition of your current roles and responsibilities, ramp a guy up to take up your job, and later unlearn everything and start learning new skills. Pretty awesome, but pretty tiring! I started as a Product Marketing Manager on Feb 15 and have been busy with some awesome projects since then. That said, it is high time to get that work-life balance back.

I plan to travel again — yaaaaaaa baby, woohooo

First stop, a luxurious spa holiday in Thailand in April — a much deserved break. And, after I’ll blow all my travel budget getting Thai massages and drinking by the beach it is back to traveling cheap — the way I like to do it.

A trip to Egypt, and a roadtrip across Europe is in planning stages and will become reality only if it is ‘really cheap.’ I am looking for a some folks with whom I can tag along and do mass-bookings to save on air-fare and hotel costs. So if you are interested, give me a buzz.

This year I plan to travel to places where I couldn’t in 2009. Top of the list if Ladakh. I’ll definitely take a 10 day trip as planned in 2009. I’ll do it the way I wanted to do — on bike, setting up tents and drive through Khardung La, highest motor-able road in the whole world and sleep beneath the stars, if it doesn’t get too cold that is

Also, a much awaited trip to the North Eastern India, I plan to visit all the places in my itinerary from 2009 in 10-12 days: Guwahati, Shillong, Kaziranga, Kohima, Kipfiizha, Jorhat, Dirang, Chabrilla, Nurarang, Tawang, and finally go to Pasighat — home town of Shaleha, my favorite girl friend and spend a day or two with her family I also plan to club in Bhutan, if possible that is.

Other then these two long vacations, I want to take some weekend trips to Karwar on coastal Karnataka, Pondicherry, Coorg, Ooty, Kabini, and other places near Bangalore. I heard there are some tremendous options, haven’t explored them as yet. And of course, my year will not be complete without hitting Goa, drinking my ass off, and crashing on the beach.

I travel not just because I like to; I do it because no book, no wise-man (read wise-ass) can teach me as much as my travels. It is such an humbling experience to see such amazing places, and feast on local cuisine (frog legs, and sea grass included ). Clicking pictures of some of the most scenic places, exotic food, and locals is another passion of yours truly. Photographs are not just for memories, they are for the world to see (thanks to the Internet) and visit the places I’ve been to.

Here is to exciting 9 months full of travel.

So if you are not one of the travel types, and think that Discovery Travel and Living has shown you everything — you cannot be more wrong.

काम करता हूँ दफ्तर मैं
सारा नया काम समझ लिया
लेकिन वो ख़ुशी ना मिली जो तब थी
जब मैंने खुद कुछ नया किया

अच्छा लगता है मुझे यह भी करना
लेकिन यह काम ही कुछ और है
मेरा सपना था खुद कुछ करने का
उसे छोड़ के सारा काम कर लिया

वक़्त के साथ मैं भी बढ़ लिया
जो मिला वो ऑफर ले लिया
जो करना था मुझे असल मैं
वो करने का जज्बा कम कर दिया

उस दिन का मुझे इंतज़ार रहेगा
जब मेरा मन यह कहेगा
सर अपना मैं ऊपर कर एक
सपने को पूरा करने चल दिया

आज मुझे वो करने का मन करता है
आज मैंने वो करने का हौसला बना लिया
इस आराम की नौकरी तो त्याग कर मैं
अपना सपना पूरा करने चल दिया

यह दिन जल्दी आये ऐसे मेरी है दुआ
एक अत्यंत प्रज्वलित ज्वाला मैंने
अपने हृदय से जलाने का प्रयास किया
मैं अपनी मंजिल की और बढ लिया
अपनी मंजिल की और बढ लिया

I came to Hyderabad after finishing my college in Indore on June 18, 2006. Google put me up in this brilliant Guest House in Jubilee Hills. I had an AC room all to myself — After living in a hostel room for about.4 years and sharing a common toilet with 50 other guys in my block,this room with an AC, carpets, curtains, and an attached bathroom with Jaccuzi was sheer luxury. To top that, I shared the guest house (read mansion) with 10 girls. Can life get any better?

I fell in love with Hyderabad, even though I had seen nothing.

My superficial life as a king was shortlived and after 15 days of all apid for accomodation, I had to move to a rented modest 2BHK and shared the flat with a guy from work, Zubin. Later, we went on to become really good friends.

At Google you are really well taken care of, the only meal that I had to worry about was dinner. We used to frequent either Sandarshini, a decent veg restaurant, or Hyderabad House, a chain famous for its Biryani and non-veg delicacies for dinner. Both places offered great food for 60-80 bucks per head.

I used to wonder how these modest and skinny looking hyderabadi guys whom I used to ogle while they ate, can finish a whole Thali (a typical south Indian dinner with usually 6-8 different type of curries, curd, 1-2 chapatis, multiple pickles and chutneys, and several servings or rice) or eat a whole chicken biryani in one sitting. Me and Zubin used to order 1 biryani and share it. Sometimes both of us couldn’t finish the entire thing together. It was not long before I stereotyped Hyderabadi’s as monsters who can hog all day.

To drift slightly away from the topic, as time passed I felt that I am being accepted by the city as one of its own. I picked up some Telugu words and was able to communicate a tad bit better with the local pan walla. I fell in love with the chaos of Charminar, and the pleasent evenings at Hussain Sagar. I started appreciating Sanbhar and curd-rice like never before. I fell in love with the city and its people, and more so the food. I became a cross north-south random Indian who can’t eat lunch without rasam and daal both.

Now, almost 3 years and 8 months later I am a true blue Hyderabadi. I am proud of the city and its culture, food, and am glad that it accepted me.

I am now one of those I stereotyped. I can eat a thali with multiple serving of rice. I enthusiasticly and tastefully mix gun powder, rice, and ghee and hog till I can eat no more. I can finish a whole chicken biryani and still go out for dessert. And I now weigh around 65 kgs which is pretty neat coz it balances the BMI that goes with my height of 5’8″ — when I came to Hyderabad I was 52 kgs.

I think if I ever leave Hyderabad of all the things I will miss Biryani the most. For it is really unique and amazing. I had the best Biryani at Nizam’s Club which I believe was cooked to perfection with the aroma of spices engulfing you the moment it is served. For those of you who are members of Nizam Club, I strongly suggest you eat the Biryani there. For those of you who are not, find a good ol Hyderabadi friend who is a member and is willing to take you to the club, like the one I found

Hyderabadi Biryani rocks!

The funniest part is when they send me SMS saying: “Hi, I am Rhea from Hyderabad and I want to be your friend. SMS Chat at Rupee 3/SMS.” How ridiculous is this? To top this they started sending me SMS on how I can improve my skin tone. As a proud brown man, this came to me as a racist attack.

Now comes this scary part, a guy calls me and says “Hello Sir, I’ve a great offer from Vodafone. For only 400 INR/ month you can chat with as many girls as you want” I laughed my ass off an ddied laughing, my phone dropped and I only regained consciousness and came back to life after a good 10 minutes. Though scary and funny, this conversation made by day.

My rendezvous with phone doesn’t end here and I am sure I’ll be bombarded with such offers day after day. The real question is do I as a consumer have a choice? I did ask them to opt me out of such dumb promotion services but I guess my request didn’t register in their records — or they chose to ignore it. I think I’ll try reminding them once again and if I get further promotional messages/ calls, I might consider to sue them.

Management is all about taking the right decisions and ensuring that they continue to be right.

I really don’t care how good or bad this definition is. This is something I coined and I am proud of it. Copyrighted

Steve is back!

I was thrilled. There are couple of business leaders who’ve influenced me a lot. Steve Jobs is one of them. For a moment, if I keep aside all the great products has Apple has launched in the past couple of decades, I think Steve would have still contributed very significantly in making our life better — probably not so much but he would have — In his own small, humble way.

I think perhaps one of the biggest qualities of Steve is to fight back. And this is something which I admire the most about him.

He lost millions of dollars worth of business to Microsoft in early 80s when Bill and Steve fought the legendary OS war. He kept working and making the products at Apple better. He encouraged the other Steve to join him and ‘change the world’ and not sell sodas. Later in the decade he was fired from Apple, the very company he founded. He had nothing left but public humiliation. He fought back and created multiple world class companies — only to be bought by Apple and get him reinstated as CEO again. He was diagnosed with cancer. He fought and is alive and kicking.

When I saw Steve Jobs earlier today, I saw a pale, thin man who seemed tired after fighting many battles. But, the moment he started speaking about iPad and addresses the crowd — I witnessed the same passion, the same zest, and shiny eyes that I remembered from the last time I saw him. He is here to stay — He made it clear that he may be weak in body but not in spirit and he is going to spend more years at Apple taking care of the business as usual.

Steve, Welcome back!

Now talking of iPad, I think it is the most useless device ever created by Apple. I do not expect a BIGGER iPhone from Apple which they are so wisely trying to push into middle of a phone and a laptop. Ridiculous!

I think iPad is more of a glorified kindle and nothing else. At 499$ it is priced right but I don’t think that it is revolutionary. At the end of the day it as a tablet PC.  So let’s not talk about it, I am disappointed. I was expecting something jaw dropping which I didn’t get.

Such is the irony of high expectations, even Jobs has to work his ass off to please someone like me who is probably gonna give business worth 5000$ in his entire life to Apple. But what the heck, consumer is king.